they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
