there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Randomize
