Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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