brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
