You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
