i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
