So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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