Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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