Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
