What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize