Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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