I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
You did what with his pubic hair?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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