I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Randomize
