Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
