to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Randomize
