She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
