Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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