my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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