Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
