It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
