none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
