Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
