went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
pray to the hookup gods
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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