I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
