How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
