i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize
