i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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