This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
