420 ftw
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
