I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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