I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
