Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Randomize
