Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I wish i was in the wii world.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
as a side note pls kill me
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