it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I had to cum in my sink.
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