I am puke
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
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