he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
