Who wears a wallet chain?!
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
