Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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