What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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