I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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