Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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