C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
