The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
he was CRYING into my vagina
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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