smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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