the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Randomize
