So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
i barfeds in our rink
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
