Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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