Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
