And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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