he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Shame is for Republicans.
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