Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
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